Practical Theory - The Origin
The Scholars in CyberEnglish
ToDaY's MeNu - Ted

Friday, July 25, 2008

Giving 100%

We are at a crucial juncture in summer school. A couple of struggling scholars came in and wanted to know what they had to do to pass the class. We went over what was required and they assured me they would give me more than 100% to pass the class. I had to point out that it was impossible to give more than 100%. What I needed them to do was to come to class on time, give as close to 100% as possible, and not to give up. Then I showed them something I have taped to one of my closet doors:
GIVING 100%

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to these meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Try:
P E D A G O G Y
19 5 4 1 7 15 7 25 = 83%

Then:
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

but,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

On the other hand:
P O L I T I C S
16 15 12 9 20 9 3 19 = 103%

And,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that pedagogy, hard work, and knowledge will get
you close, attitude will get you there; and politics and bullshit will
put you over the top. But,look how far ass kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 9 14 7 = 118%

So the next time someone asks you to give more than 100%,
you know what is required of you.

I don't know where I found this fun chart, but a quick GOOGLE search of "giving 100%" yields the same chart on many sites. My scholars concluded that all they needed was a positive "attitude" to be sure they could pass the class. I concurred.


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